i cannot believe you jacqui, ok so kirilee flirts with zac SO WHAT maybe he just likes her better than u becuz everytime you see him he gets pissed off because you so god damn annoying. kirilee did nothing wrong so bak off, and why would you cry over zac ur just wasting your time he has a girlfriend so get over you little obsession. and another thing "skitzofrenia" is not full of sexy people, for one amy is NOT sexy and jessica jackson is a dog. and i think u and maleah shuld really get ova the whole fight thing because neither of you are being very nice about it, why throw away a best friend for skanks like amy. amy calls her best friends sluts so you'll just have to learn the hard way. your a nice person jacqui but get over your obsessions and stop thinking your better than everyone else because your not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

so she pretends she doesn't care
hoping she can make it through the day ,
full of pain that no one can see
& at night all she can do is think of what will never be
when she finally falls asleep she dreams of him
his beautiful smile & the way he makes her laugh
this is the only time she is ever truly happy
cause in her dreams they`re not just friends
he loves her back
she wakes back up & knows she has to face reality
he does not love her, the dream is just a cruel joke
played by the crushed heart he doesnt even know he broke

"P.L.E.A.S.E"
Sitting here 
Crying once again
Thinking how my life is so screwed up
Everyday it gets worse
More reasons to give up
To just die
I wanna give up && go… Please I beg you, save me from my nightmares, from my pain
The tears keep falling
The blood keeps dripping
Please make it stop
Please make me die
I’ve had enough 
Of this nightmare called life
PLEASE
 
[x]love.amy[x]

HOLY  CRAP ON A CRUST!

 

I do not like new spaces, man.

I do no like them Sam- I - am.

Will you shoot them in the head?

Will you shoot them 'till they're dead?

 

I do not like new profiles, see,

They are a pedophiles' dream- come- be,

With kiddies typing in details,

They'll find my house, and steal my mail.

 

When they find my school adress,

They'll come down here and make a mess,

With new MSN profiles, sir,

Fake comments, are now gone, a blur!

 

This is at least a handy feature,

No more anonymous bullshit-o-meter,

If people try to pretend to be me,

They can't steal my profile, it's tricky, you see.

 

You can also comment on pictures now,

Why would you? You stupid cow!

What a bloody useless thing!

"ur pics r ghey" The joys you bring!

 

Now my page begins to lag,

A billion comments, with pictures, and formatting tags?

This is crap! My dial up dies!

MSN spaces improved? What filthy lies!

 

Comments now are back to front?

I want to see the most recent ones, YOU F***!

Re-install the pictures thing,

New URL doesn't have the /members/ ring.

 

Gah!

 

This has driven Amy mad,

Tasha's head exploded bad,

Papa's crying for the loss,

Kenny's getting rather cross.

 

Forty minutes: The time it took...

To redo my profile, to give it a good look.

What the hell? I'm not a genius

MSN, you have no penis.

 

My 'intrests' list leaves strange links to nowhere,

What the hell, man? Hello? Are you there?

Cut out all this retarded crap.

I want my old space, I want it back.

 

I'm not here for making friends,

Nor relationships, or joining trends,

Screw you geeks, without  persona,

You smell like crap, try some Rexona ©™

 

Pictures in comments? This ain't no forum shit.

What have you done? OKAY, THAT'S IT!

 

Both old and new have their ups and downs

Oh my God, look at what I found!

Formatting makes my poor eyes bleed.

I hate MSN, yes I do indeed.

 

Love [x]amy[x]

your perfect little girl dropped a grade on her report card. your perfect little girl yelled at you last night. your perfect little girl talked back to you again. your perfect little girl painted her nails black. your perfect little girl lied to you all her life. your perfect little girl cries herself to sleep. your perfect little girl slits her wrists until she bleeds. your perfect little girl dated before she was 16. your perfect little girl was broken by a boy. your perfect little girl doesn`t want to go to church. your perfect little girl hates you. your perfect little girl has given up on life. your perfect little girl had a tantrum today. your perfect little girl wants to run away. your perfect little girl has no real friends. your perfect little girl thinks she`s overweight. your perfect little girl hasn`t let you dry her tears. your perfect little girl disobeys you. your perfect little girl hates the world. your perfect little girl is hated by the world. your perfect little girl says bad things about you. your perfect little girl is very un-happy. your perfect little girl has tried to commit suicide. your perfect little girl has become a disgrace. your perfrct little girl isnt so perfect after all..   [x]amy[x]

Could I end my life with a knife sharpened of problems sweet satisfaction of a night sky with horns a papercut bleeds like a cut vein could this sky open up and accept this tortured soul but my wings have yet to work change means nothing when nothing wants to change save your strength for the first disappointment break this mirror that changes you forever is such an unpleasant word it begins to eat you / from the inside out beg for sleep as the noose is tied around your neck

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*** 

 ***

 And im a black rainbow,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My wrist tell a story
That no one ever reads
Because I keep it hidden
So no one ever sees

A story of my pain
And all my feelings inside
From no one caring for me
Would they care if i died?

If i for some reason just vanished
Maybe then they'll understand
All my feelings of pain i have
Then they'll read the note in my hand

That tells about my suicide
And how it came to be
And how no one ever gave a FUCK

 And how no one ever cared for me

Cuz by the time they start
I wont be around  anymore

[x]amy[x]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[x]hey...its.amy[x]

hey kandi its me... lol i dont know why i am in your space yeah you can delete this if you want... i think i might of got you in trouble the other night when we were on the fone so if i did i am rly rly rly sorry X1000000000000000 and i am soo sorry but i cant go to yth this week either coz of my stupid mum:'( she doesnt even care tht its possibly the only time ill get to see you again she was lyk bla bla bla we have to leave at 2am for the stupid holiday bla bla bla...grrr i dont wanna go... but when ur at yth ill call ur mobile:)so its lyk im there!!(btw im using my optus fone again!!) yay!! yeah so im rly sorry if i got you in trouble so im just going to add a few random things that are sad for me in here ok... then i will know u wont ever forget me when you leave... oh yeah and also im getting my braces changed on saturday and im going to get lime green and black because there like your favourite colors and tht way ill lyk be wearing you:)*nothing suss* ... please dont ever forget me...or jess for that matter!! and tell ur mommy im sorry and its all my fault so tell her to get mad at me not you!!^_^ and yeah i drew a picture for you and it is actually rly rly rly gud!! even i can admit tht!! its of an emo person and ill add a pic  at the end of this entry to show you!! i still gotta add a few more things in da pic though... [x]imissyoukandi[x] [x]..J.A.K.4.eva..[x] (jess, amy and kandi.) and yeah i promise i will visit u everysingle time possible:)!! [x]emoalltheway[x] [x]amy[x]   oh yeah also i was bored so i made a new addy for you if you want it... smile.like.nothings.wrong.die.coz.nothings.right@hotmail.com ... and yeah the password is the same one you have now ... ... empty apartment- yellowcard... sorry i love this song ;p... ... ¢αℓℓ мє συт уσυ ѕтαує∂ ιиѕι∂є σиє уσυ ℓσνє ιѕ ωнєяє уσυ нι∂є ѕнσт мє ∂σωи  αѕ ι fℓєω ву ¢яαѕн αи∂ вυяи ι тнιик ѕσмєтιмєѕ уσυ fσяgєт ωнєяє тнє нєαят ιѕ. αиѕωєя иσ тσ тнєѕє qυєѕтισиѕ ℓєт нєя gσ, ℓєαяи α ℓєѕѕσи ιт'ѕ иσт мє, уσυ'яє иσт ℓιѕтєиιиg иσω, ¢αи'т уσυ ѕєє ѕσмєтнιиg'ѕ мιѕѕιиg уσυ fσяgєт ωнєяє тнє нєαят ιѕ..   тαкє уσυ αωαу  fяσм тнαт ємρту αραятмєит уσυ ѕтαу, αи∂ fσяgєт ωнєяє тнє нєαят ιѕ ѕσмє∂αу ιf єνєя уσυ ℓσνє∂ мє уσυ'∂ ѕαу, ιт'ѕ σкαу..   ωαкιиg υρ fяσм тнιѕ иιgнтмαяє, нσω'ѕ уσυя ℓιfє؟ ωнαт'ѕ ιт ℓιкє тнєяє؟ ιѕ ιт αℓℓ ωнαт уσυ ωαит ιт тσ вє؟ ∂σєѕ ιт нυят ωнєи уσυ тнιик αвσυт мє؟ αи∂ нσω вяσкєи му нєαят ιѕ   тαкє уσυ αωαу fяσм тнαт ємρту αραятмєит уσυ ѕтαу, αи∂ fσяgєт ωнєяє тнє нєαят ιѕ  ѕσмє∂αу ιf єνєя уσυ ℓσνє∂ мє уσυ'∂ ѕαу, ιт'ѕ σкαу..    ιт'ѕ σкαу тσ вє αиgяу αи∂ иєνєя ℓєт gσ  ιт σиℓу gєтѕ нαя∂єя тнє мσяє тнαт уσυ киσω ωнєи уσυ gєт ℓσиєℓу ιf иσ σиє'ѕ αяσυи∂ уσυ киσω тнαт ι'ℓℓ ¢αт¢н уσυ ωнєи уσυ'яє fαℓℓιиg ∂σωи ωє ¢αмє тσgєтнєя вυт уσυ ℓєfт αℓσиє   αи∂ ι киσω нσω ιт fєєℓѕ тσ ωαℓк συт σи уσυя σωи мαувє ѕσмє∂αу ι ωιℓℓ ѕєє уσυ αgαιи   αи∂ уσυ'ℓℓ ℓσσк мє ιи му єуєѕ αи∂ ¢αℓℓ мє уσυя fяιєи∂..   тαкє уσυ αωαу fяσм тнαт ємρту αραятмєит уσυ ѕтαу, αи∂ fσяgєт ωнєяє тнє нєαят ιѕ ѕσмє∂αу ιf єνєя уσυ ℓσνє∂ мє уσυ'∂ ѕαу,  ιт'ѕ σкαу..    ιт'ѕ σкαу ιт'ѕ σкαу ... this song is soo sad:'( it makes me cry everytime i hear it coz it makes me think of you:'( ... it officially my favourite song ... [x]xXmydyingheartXx[x] i will miss you ... AlWaYs AnD fOrEvEr [x]love[x]amy[x]

Holy gee whilikers... I am as emo as it gets... I will try to cheer the heck up and stop wiping my nose on my sweater...

just to see

s o m e t i m e s    y o u   j u s t    h a v e    t o   r u n   a w a y ,   

s  o   y o u   c a n   s e e   w h o   w i l l   c o  m e   a f t e r   y o u .

s o m e t i m e s    y o u   h a v e   t o   t a l k   q u i e t e r ,  

j u s t   t o   s e e   w h o   i s   l i s t e n i n g 
 
s o m e  t i m e s   y o u   h a v e   t o   s t a n d   u p   i n   a   f i g h t ,  

b u t   o n l y   t o   s e e    w h o   i s  s t a n d i n g   b y    y o u r    s i d e .

s o m e t i m e s   y o u   h a v e   t o   m a k e   a   w r o n g   d e c i s i o n

o n l y    t o   s e e   w h o   i s   t h e r e  t o   h e l p   y o u   f i x   i t .

 s o m e t i m e s   y o u   h a v e   t o   l e t   g o   o f   t h e   o n e   y o u  

love ,

What if.

What if I had jumped?
What if I had given in?
What if I had shot or swallowed or hung?
What if I had given up?
What would have happened?
If I was no longer here.
But I am here.
And I didn't give in.
I didn't give up.
And I am stronger for it.
I was so close,
But then I was saved.
By whom?
Myself, or someone else?
I may never know.
But to whomever it was,
I am deeply and eternally grateful.
And I can never think like that.
Never again.
There are no what ifs.
There is just what is.
What is.
It's the only thing that matters.
Because you cannot change the past.
You have no control over the future.
But the present is a gift, use it wisely,
And you will never have to worry about what was or what never was again.
No more what ifs.
What if is futile.

There is only what is

 

 

 

 

Early one morning while she was asleep

she recieved a bloody letter addressd incomlpete

it read dear mother or guardian of mine

i truly hope these words find you in time

i had wished you had raised me and gave me a home

never thought id be hated or left alone

we could have been friends and shared our love

but sadly i wasnt the one you thought off

more important than me 

he never had any children 

so he wasnt my dad

no matter how hard i try he alwasy comes first

you never seem to care or see how much it hurts

do you even bother to check up on me at school

do you even care if im following the rules

do you know how many guys have played me for a fool?

and left me crying with tears enough for a pool

but that doesnt really matter now not anymore

arnt you glad i wont grow up to be a whore

its ok mum you have the greatest relief

now i couldnt possibly cause anymore grief

dont worry mum you never cared anywayz 

and if you did you never shared it with me throught those days

no matter what i did he was always before me

and now that im gone you can completley forget about me

i see you have your old life back

now live it while you can 

your one step closer from having a family

you already have your man

tel my baby girl im sorry for leaving so soon

that whenever she misses me

to look at the moon

and no matter what happened i will always be there

and that i didnt do anything because of her

tell my grandma

i thank her for always welcoming me into her arms

and for always trying to keep me from harm

tell my friend i wont forget them ever

that when the time is right well be together

remember me when it storms and rains

remember this moment i sliced my vains

remember my spirit and remember me

and remember the love you never gave me

all the feelings you showed me

are all the feelings maintained

all you ever gave me

was anger and pain

 

 

 

<>PO3M<> I DI3D WITHOUT UR LOV3

She lays there in the darkness Tears streaming down her face She wishes she could find a way To leave this awful place Cause shes sick of all the heartbreak Shes sick of all his lies She wants to get away from him But all she can do is cry He scared her heart foreva Without a single care He left her for another Her fragile heart to spare Now she sits and wonders How she will get through She pondered for a while Then decided what to do She'll forget all about him Erase their days of joy Because he is not worth it And her heart is not a toy So she stopped her crying Away with all her tears She'll find herself a new love And forget about past years But the first time she saw him With new love by his side She slipped back into saddness But kept it all inside But when she got home that night She got out her paper and pens To write out a bunch of notes To give to all her friends She told them she is done Living with this pain She told them that she loved them But had nothing left to gain Then she went into the closet And got out her dads gun And she whispered softly to herself The pain is almost done Then she pulled the trigger Her life was now at end In a pool of blood she laid Until her mum walked in At first her mum was speechless And then she fell and cried How could she ever believe Her little girl had died Days later at the funeral He came slowly through the door He couldnt look at anyone His face down to the floor He knew he was the reason She took out that gun He knew he was the reason Her life was now done He walked up to the casket And said he was sorry I never would have guessed, he said You felt this strong toward me Then he lifted up his head And looked straight up above Then he heard her whisper back I died without your love   l8rs love always [x]amy[x]